WHY CAN’T I JUST BE WITH YOU ALL THE TIME EVERY MINUTE OF EVERYDAY SO I CAN GET SICK OF YOU AND MOVE ON. BUT I NEVER SEE YOU AND THAT MAKES ME WANT YOU MORE. OH BOY I WANT YOU MORE
‘Hey babe can’t wait for Sunday I got you a little something cause I saw it and it reminded me of you but you know I am cheesy like that :) xx’
Really? Did you have to go and talk to me like that,
did you have to come on chat and be all cute? Or leave me yet another wall post just reminding me how i like feeling wanted by you?
Did you have to fucking do that? Really? I thought you would be different, i thought you were a fucking decent guy, and i thought i was lucky. But it was obvioulsy too good to be true, and i didn’t dersve you because i’m not good enough for this unless something bad comes with it.
I just wanted to be wanted by someone i wanted back.
I need to talk to someone. But not a stranger. Some lovely person on tumblr, or some random person i don’t care about. I want a friend. Someone i’ve known all my life. My bestfriend. Him. Her. That guy i’d always had a secret crush on. The anoying guy who’d always say hi and i’d never say hi back. I want home and friends, friends who are family. I want it all now, i don’t want to have to wait to make new family, new friends, i doubt i’m even capable of that. I need everyone here, right now. I need us to all lie together in my more than uncomfortabe bed. Use each other as body heat, and tell bad knock knock jokes. Talk about the losers at school, or who’s dating who. Maybe a tale about that time we were drunk or some bad memory no one wants to revisit but everyone can remember. I want to finally cry and be held. I want to cuddle up to you and have people around, so i didn’t feel like it was a dirty secret i never got to tell. I want someone there who’d been like a brother to me, and a sister, a whole family tree in this bed. It’d be safe, and happy, and for the night we’d all be so in love, so in love with the feeling we had made. I want past, and history and i want a future to go along with it. I need someone to talk to. Because i’m broken without my friends, my family, without you.
